I"m no talking about just any Ken here, the course. (Apologies to those who recognize someone named Ken and got worried.) I"m referring to Ken the doll, close friend to Barbie the doll.

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because its development in 1961, the Ken doll has actually been an icon of manliness, a ripped, heat-molded hunk the dude plastic that collection totally reasonable body expectations because that boys and also men.

top top Tuesday, news broke that toymaker Mattel was introducing "15 new and varied Ken dolls." Like most normal American men, i assumed Mattel was ultimately hooking mine bromigo Ken up v the genitalia he has actually long lived without.

Let"s stop a moment to identify the sad fact that Barbie and Ken have actually spent their whole time ~ above this planet in a state of anatomical incorrectness. To placed it tenderly, they have no bits and pieces.

some parents think that"s good. I assume they want to make sure their kids don"t find out to it is in comfortable v the existence of organic parts of the person body, for this reason guaranteeing future generations of parents who have awkward hangups and also squirm in ~ the thought of a plastic doll through a penis.

yet my concern — and I"m concentrating on Ken here since he"s in the news and because I"m a guy — is with Ken"s psyche. He has been sans dick for much more than five decades, and it has got to be wearing on him.

So back to Mattel"s announcement. In a humane toy manufacturing world, that announcement would have affiliated 15 new anatomically correct Ken dolls.

What did we get? follow to Mattel"s push release: "The line includes 15 brand-new Ken dolls with three body types, seven skin tones, eight hair colors, nine hairstyles and modernized fashions, ranging from casual organization attire to strong wear."

Nary a penis, folks. And also to include insult come injury, those Mattel monsters offered one version of Ken a man bun.

A male bun is a rounded glob of guy hair perched on the optimal of a guy head. That looks choose someone lopped off one of Princess Leia"s cool side buns from the very first Star wars movie and glued it to the peak of part idiot"s noggin. It"s the solitary most ridiculous hairstyle because the mullet, and it is uncovered only on guys who stay sandals and never closeup of the door up around craft beer.

Mattel likewise gave Ken three various body types: original, i m sorry is awesome; slim, i beg your pardon is unworthy of the Ken name; and also broad, which is a nice means of speak "dad bod." ns don"t want children emulating my "works out yet still eats too much" physique. I desire them aspiring come the original, unattainable Ken physique, the one I constantly dreamed of however couldn"t realize because God made ice cream cream taste delicious.

per Mattel"s press release: "The Barbie brand has always reflected the times, so modernizing Ken is the next step in the brand"s advancement to offer an ext diverse products."

I"m all-in on the diversity front. It"s an excellent to watch Ken and Barbie better reflecting the various faces of Americans.

2) in ~ the threat of sounding too many concerned about a doll"s mental well-being, don"t you think he would prefer obtaining a penis very first and a man bun second?


Those room reasonable inquiries. The reality that Mattel didn"t respond indicates they may not be acting in Ken"s best interests.

That"s why I"m beginning a society media campaign using the #GiveKenAPenis hashtag. Please join me in directing her outraged tweets to Mattel"s Twitter account:

Also, if I"m not up to date on doll law, I would hope someone that is can see if Mattel could be compelled to give Ken — in all his assorted body types, skin tones and annoyingly weird clothing — the one thing he important deserves.

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because having her plastic hair excellent up in a male bun is poor enough. Having actually a man bun and also no penis? Well, that"s simply wrong.



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